Slayer and Slain!

again back after a long time .....a break full of lunacy and emotions and stupidity also..............
well in the meantime i had the moments to write this down. was like a trance when i put pen to paper and then when i woke up it was done. dunno what to say about it.

alone i stand beside my curved steel,
audience to a theater of war
me the victor, thee the vanquished.
dismembered, disfigured ,all those who face me.
lie they all conquered, i care to see.
lies my brother for all his love
sleeps my friend , dreams he helped me have.
choked my love, for the meaning her life to mine gave
happiness i once prayed for them
salvation today i deny them.
for a wrong that was never meant to be.
and when the gaze lowers to my own self,
left am i disgusted like no else.
did that small child just disappear,
or did i act the butcher.
when did this venom grow?
why let the devil tighten its claw?
mastered my own will, i did
cultivated the bed for this black seed.
helped everyone , i thought
what curse upon them i brought
caretaker turned slayer
carnage brewed from what i held dear
blindfolded myself to let me see
everyone is dread, threat and enemy
forged a sword sharp as it could be
bonds of love could never stand the hara kiri
sliced through all, heart black and cold
carved a story, no tongue would unfold.
victor i stand, testimony to my wrath
king to the crown i never sought
what cost have i paid to earn the name
the gladiator or the morally slain?

p.s. : this is to be taken purely as a collection of words with no links to reality whatsoever.

Wind in the hair.................

whats the ultimate riding experience? i just experienced something that was closest to the perfect ride i have had in these 21 years of my stupid life.and to get the right meal, the ingredients have to be specifically correct. these are............

1. a royal enfield thunderbird
2. 20 kms of long and good quality tarmac
3. a slight chill in the air , winter time is the best.
4. dead midnight, least traffic.

and my god, the recipe is so potent that when you are left to get to grips with reality, you find it hard to shrug it off. really enjoyed the ride and the adrenaline rush it gave. at one point my eyes started watering from the constant barrage of speed and the cross winds, but the hand won't let go of the throttle. almost achieved 100kph (do not laugh you insolent cockheads, this is pune!!)
a million thanks for this experience should go to Kartik and V'Raj for reasons best not disclosed!!hehehehehehe............................................can't wait to get back on that bike and go cruising again!!

Some amazing lyrics...............again completely Dil se!!

again here is a blog and comprises some lyrics which i feel are amongst the best ever written. read them, enjoy and if any opinions, feel free to post.




Killer of Giants (Ozzy Osbourne)

If none of us believe in war
Then can you tell me what the weapons for
Listen to me everyone
If the button is pushed
There'll be nowhere to run

Giants sleeping giants winning wars
Within their dreams
Till they wake when its too late
And in gods name blaspheme

Killer of giants threatens us all
Mountains of madness standing so tall
Marches of protest not stopping the war
Or the killer of giants
The killer of giants

Mother nature people state your case without its worth
Your seas run dry your sleepless eyes are turning red alert

Killer of giants threatens us all
Mountains of madness standing so tall
Rising so proudly it has nowhere to fall
This killer of giants
This killer of giants

Killer of giants................

====================================================================
Nothing else matters (Metallica)

So close no matter how far
Couldnt be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I dont just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know......................


====================================================================
Something to believe in..(Bon Jovi)

I lost all faith in my god, in his religion too
I told the angels they could sing their songs to someone new
I lost all trust in my friends
I watched my heart turn to stone
I thought that I was left to walk this wicked world alone

Tonight Ill dust myself off
Tonight Ill suck my gut in
Ill face the night and Ill pretend
I got something to believe in

And I had lost touch with reason
I watched life criticize the truth
Been waiting for a miracle
I know you have too

Though I know I wont win
Ill take this one on the chin
Well raise a toast and Ill pretend
I got something to believe in

If I dont believe in jesus, how can I believe the pope
If I dont believe in heroin, how can I believe in dope
If theres nothing but survival, how can I believe in sin
In a world that gives you nothing
We need something to believe in


====================================================================
Aerials (System Of A Down)

Life is a waterfall
We're one in the river
And one again after the fall
Swimming through the void
We hear the word
We lose ourselves
But we find it all....
Cause we are the ones that want to play
Always want to go
But you never want to stay
And we are the ones that want to choose
Always want to play
But you never want to lose
Aerials, in the sky
When you lose small mind
You free your life
Life is a waterfall
We drink from the river
Then we turn around and put up our walls
Swimming through the void
We hear the word
We lose ourselves
But we find it all...
Cause we are the ones that want to play
Always want to go
But you never want to stay
And we are the ones that want to choose
Always want to play
But you never want to lose
Aerials, in the sky
When you lose small mind
You free your life
Aerials, so up high
When you free your eyes eternal prize
Aerials, in the sky
When you lose small mind
You free your life
Aerials, so up high
When you free your eyes eternal prize


===================================================================
Dream On (Aerosmith)

Every time I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It goes by, like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows
where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life
is in books' written pages
Lived and learned from fools and
from sages
You know it's true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dreams come true
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dream comes through
Dream On Dream On

====================================================================
Jokerman (Bob Dylan)

Standing on the waters casting your bread
While the eyes of the idol with the iron head are glowing.
Distant ships sailing into the mist,
You were born with a snake in both of your fists while a hurricane was blowing.
Freedom just around the corner for you
But with the truth so far off, what good will it do?

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune,
Bird fly high by the light of the moon,
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.

So swiftly the sun sets in the sky,
You rise up and say goodbye to no one.
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread,
Both of their futures, so full of dread, you don't show one.
Shedding off one more layer of skin,
Keeping one step ahead of the persecutor within.

You're a man of the mountains, you can walk on the clouds,
Manipulator of crowds, you're a dream twister.
You're going to Sodom and Gomorrah
But what do you care? Ain't nobody there would want to marry your sister.
Friend to the martyr, a friend to the woman of shame,
You look into the fiery furnace, see the rich man without any name.

Well, the Book of Leviticus and Deuteronomy,
The law of the jungle and the sea are your only teachers.
In the smoke of the twilight on a milk-white steed,
Michelangelo indeed could've carved out your features.
Resting in the fields, far from the turbulent space,
Half asleep near the stars with a small dog licking your face.

Well, the rifleman's stalking the sick and the lame,
Preacherman seeks the same, who'll get there first is uncertain.
Nightsticks and water cannons, tear gas, padlocks,
Molotov cocktails and rocks behind every curtain,
False-hearted judges dying in the webs that they spin,
Only a matter of time 'til night comes steppin' in.

It's a shadowy world, skies are slippery gray,
A woman just gave birth to a prince today and dressed him in scarlet.
He'll put the priest in his pocket, put the blade to the heat,
Take the motherless children off the street
And place them at the feet of a harlot.
Oh, Jokerman, you know what he wants,
Oh, Jokerman, you don't show any response.

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune,
Bird fly high by the light of the moon,
Oh, oh, oh, Jokerman.


====================================================================
Cats In the Cradle (Ugly Kid Joe)

My child arrived just the other day
Came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
He was talkin 'fore I knew it
And as he grew he said,
I'm gonna be like you, dad,
You know I'm gonna be like you.

And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man n the moon.
when you comin home?
son, I don't know when. well get together then.
You know well have a good time then.

Well, my son turned ten just the other day.
He said, thanks for the ball, dad. come on, lets play.
Could you teach me to throw?
I said, not today. I got a lot to do.
He said, thats okay. and he walked away and he smiled and he said,
you know, I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him.

Well, he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
I'm proud of you. could you sit for a while?
He shook his head and he said with a smile,
what Id really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later. can I have them please ?

I've long since retired, my sons moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I'd like to see you, if you don't mind.
He said, Id love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see my new jobs a hassle and the kids have the flu,
But its sure nice talkin to you, dad.
Its been sure nice talkin to you.
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.

====================================================================
Child in Time (Deep Purple)

Sweet child in time you'll see the line
The line thats drawn between the good and the bad
See the blind man shooting at the world
Bullets flying taking toll
If you've been bad, lord I bet you have
And you've been hit by flying lead
You'd better close your eyes and bow your head
And wait for the ricochet


====================================================================
Mouth for War (Pantera)

Revenge
I'm screaming revenge again
Wrong
I've been wrong for far too long
Been constantly so frustrated
I've moved mountains with less
When I channel my hate to productive
I don't find it hard to impress

Bones in traction
Hands break to hone raw energy
Bold and disastrous
My ears can't hear what you say to me

Hold your mouth for the war
Use it for what isn't for
Speak the truth about me
Determined

Possessed
I feel a conquering will down inside me
Strength
The strength of many to crush
Who might stop me
My strength is in number
And my soul lies in every one
The releasing of anger can better any medicine under the sun

There comes a time within everyone to close your eyes to
what's real
No comprehension to fail
I vacuum the wind for my sail
Can't be the rest
Let others waste my time
Owning success is the bottom line.
Like a knife into flesh
After life is to death
Pulling and punching the rest of duration
NO ONE can piss on this determination


====================================================================
Youth Of The Nation (P.O.D.)

Last day of the rest of my life I wish I would have known cause i'd have kissed my
momma goodbye. I didn't tell her that I loved her or how much cared or thank my
pops for all the talks and all the wisdom he shared. Unaware I just did what I
always do. Everyday the same routine before I skate off to school but who knew
that
this day wasn't like the rest, instead of takin the test I took two to the chest.
Call me blind but I didn't see it comin and everybody was runnin but I couldn't
hear nothin, except gun blast, it happened so fast I didn't really know this kid
though I sat by him in class. Maybe this kid was reachin out for love or maybe
for a moment he forgot who he was or maybe this kid just wanted to be hugged,
whatever it was I know its because

Little Suzzy she was only twelve she was given the world with every chance to excel
Hang with the boys and hear the stories they tell she might act kinda proud
but no respect for herself

She finds love in all the wrong places the same situations but different faces.
Changed up her pace since her daddy left her too bad he never told her she
deserved much better.

Johnny boy always played the fool, he broke all the rules so you would think he was cool.
He was never really one of the guys no matter how hard he tried, with the
thought of suicide
It's kinda hard when you ain't got no friends, he put his life to an end they
might remember him then.
You cross a line and there is no turnin back, he told the world how he felt with
the sound of a gat.

Who's to blame for the life that tragedies claim no matter what you say it won't
take away the pain, that I feel inside I'm tired of all the lies don't nobody know
why it's the blind leadin the blind.
Guess that's the way that the story goes, will it ever make sense somebody's
gotta
know, there's gotta be more to life than this, there's got to be more to everything
I thought exists


====================================================================
To Whom It May Concern (Creed)

Oh, I didn't mean to yell
But sometimes I get beside myself
And oh, I didn't mean to rush you
But time keeps pushing so much
Oh time keeps pushing so much

Your eyes stare at me in the dark
And I hope, those eyes don't steal my freedom
My freedom

Oh, if I didn't give it all
When I stood you made me crawl
And oh, if you never heard this song
Then I could still hide down behind the wall
Then I could still hide down behind the wall

And I hope those eyes don't steal my freedom
My freedom

Ohh, my freedom
Said eyes, those eyes
Said don't steal my freedom

====================================================================
Brothers In Arms (Dire Straits)

These mist covered mountains
Are a home now for me
But my home is the lowlands
And always will be
Some day you'll return to
Your valleys and your farms
And you'll no longer burn
To be brothers in arms

Through these fields of destruction
Baptisms of fire
Ive watched all your suffering
As the battles raged higher
And though they did hurt me so bad
In the fear and alarm
You did not desert me
My brothers in arms

Theres so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones

Now the suns gone to hell
And the moons riding high
Let me bid you farewell
Every man has to die
But its written in the starlight
And every line on your palm
Were fools to make war
On our brothers in arms


====================================================================
But It Rained (Parikrama)

Wrapped in a polythene tucked away safe in my mind
A little goodbye maybe or just a passing smile

The birds fly away to the southern sky searching a home
A bunch of paper flowers or a little boy left all alone
Can somebody hear me I'm screaming from so far away
Morning who will calm you now, the evening is eclipsed again

Well does life get any better
More yesterday than today
How I thought the sun would shine tomorrow
But it rained . . .

They justified the cause for which Daddy might give up his life
It's been so long, so long a time, still I miss Daddy at night
The ache is long gone but the never keeps staring along
The waters in the seas are high
and all the sand castles have drowned

Well does life get any better
More yesterday than today
How I thought the sun would shine tomorrow
But it rained . . .


====================================================================

Re-Align (Godsmack)

Decisions made from desperation
No way to go
Internal instincts craving isolation
For me to grow

My fears come alive
In this place where I once died
Demons dreaming
Knowing I...I just needed to realign

Fell in a river of illusion
And apathy
Drowning in a self-induced confusion
I'd rather be
Yeah!

My fears come alive
In this place where I once died
Demons dreaming
Knowing I...I just needed to realign

====================================================================

Serenity (Godsmack)

As I sit here and slowly close my eyes
I take another deep breath
And feel the wind pass through my body
I'm the one in your soul
Reflecting inner light
Protect the ones who hold you
Cradling your inner child

I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control

Tragic visions slowly stole my life
Tore away everything
Cheating me out of my time
I'm the one who loves you
No matter wrong or right
And every day I hold you
I hold you with my inner child

I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control

I need serenity

====================================================================

Angel of Death (Slayer)

Auschwitz, the meaning of pain
The way that I want you to die
Slow death, immense decay
Showers that cleanse you of your life
Forced in
Like cattle
You run
Stripped of
Your lifes worth
Human mice, for the angel of death
Four hundred thousand more to die
Angel of death
Monarch to the kingdom of the dead
Sadistic, surgeon of demise
Sadist of the noblest blood

Destroying, without mercy
To benefit the aryan race

Surgery, with no anesthesia
Fell the knife pierce you intensely
Inferior, no use to mankind
Strapped down screaming out to die
Angel of death
Monarch to the kingdom of the dead
Infamous butcher,
Angel of death

Pumped with fluid, inside your brain
Pressure in your skull begins pushing through your eyes
Burning flesh, drips away
Test of heat burns your skin, your mind starts to boil
Frigid cold, cracks your limbs
How long can you last
In this frozen water burial?
Sewn together, joining heads
Just a matter of time
til you rip yourselves apart
Millions laid out in their
Crowded tombs
Sickening ways to achieve
The holocaust
Seas of blood, bury life
Smell your death as it burns
Deep inside of you
Abacinate, eyes that bleed
Praying for the end of
Your wide awake nightmare
Wings of pain, reach out for you
His face of death staring down,
Your blood running cold
Injecting cells, dying eyes
Feeding on the screams of
The mutants hes creating
Pathetic harmless victims
Left to die
Rancid angel of death
Flying free


====================================================================

Hole in the sky (Black Sabbath)

I'm looking through a hole in the sky
I'm seeing nowhere through the eyes of a lie
I'm getting closer to the end of the line
I'm living easy where the sun doesn't shine

I'm living in a room without any view
I'm living free because the rents never due
The synonyms of all the things that Ive said
Are just the riddles that are built in my head

Hole in the sky, take me to heaven
Window in time, through it I fly

Ive seen the stars disappear in the sun
The shootings easy if you've got the right gun
And even though I'm sitting waiting for mars
I don't believe theres any future in cause


I've watched the dogs of war enjoying their feast
I've seen the western world go down in the east
The food of love became the greed of our time
But now I'm living on the profits of pride

====================================================================

Symphony of destruction (Megadeth)

You take a mortal man,
And put him in control
Watch him become a god,
Watch peoples heads aroll
Aroll...

Just like the pied piper
Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes,
Swaying to the symphony...
Of destruction

Acting like a robot,
Its metal brain corrodes.
You try to take its pulse,
Before the head explodes.
Explodes...

The earth starts to rumble
World powers fall
Awarring for the heavens,
A peaceful man stands tall
Tall...


====================================================================

Disappear (Hoobastank)

There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you leave
Though I try to look away
The pain it still remains
Only leaving when you're next to me

Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

So I stand and look around
Distracted by the sounds
Of everyone and everything I see
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need

Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

Can you make them disappear?
Make them disappear

There's a pain that sleeps inside
Sleeps with just one eye
And awakens, the moment that you leave
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need

Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

====================================================================

Broken Wings (Alter Bridge)

Fight the fight alone
When the world is full of victims
Dims a fading light
In our souls

Leave the peace alone
How we all are slowly changing
Dims a fading light
In our souls

In my opinion seeing is to know
The things we hold
Are always purge to go
And who's to say
We won't end up alone

On broken wings I'm falling
And it won't be long
The skin on me is burning
By the fires of the sun
On skinned knees
I'm bleeding
And it won't be long
I've got to find that meaning
I'll search for so long

Cry ourselves to sleep
We will sleep alone forever
Will you lay me down
In the same place with all I love

Mend the broken homes
Care for them they are our brothers
Save the fading light in our souls

In my opinion seeing is to know
What you give
Will always carry you
And who's to say
We won't survive it too

Set a-free all
Relying on their will
To make me all that I am
And all that I'll be

Set a-free all
Will fall between the cracks
With memories of all that I am
And all that I'll be

====================================================================

Benighted (Opeth)

Come into this night
Here we'll be gone
So far away
From our weak and crumbling lives
Come into this night
When days are done
Lost and astray
In what's vanished from your eyes

What came and distorted your sight
Saw you benighted by your fright

Come into this night
Your plight alone
Carry your weight
You are flawed as all of us
Come into this night
You only home
It's never too late
To repent, suffer the loss

What came and distorted your sight
Saw you benighted by your fright

What came and distorted your sight
Saw you benighted by your fright

Come into this night
When you're able
To undo your deeds
And atone with your lonely soul
Once you're into this night
All minds are stable
Forget all your needs
Lose the grip of all control

====================================================================

Silent Lucidity (Queensryche)

Hush now, don't you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You're lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream
Spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over... or has it just begun?

There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see
This magic new dimension

I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help you see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you, in Silent Lucidity

-spoken during solo-
[Visualize your dream]
[Record it in the present tense]
[Put it into a permanent form]
[If you persist in your efforts]
[You can achieve dream control]
[Dream control]
[How's that then, better?]
[Dream control]
[Dream control]
[Dream control]
[Dream control]
[Hug me]

If you open your mind for me
You won't rely on open eyes to see
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin
Living twice at once you learn
You're safe from pain in the dream domain
A soul set free to fly
A round trip journey in your head
Master of illusion, can you realize
Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but...


====================================================================

WHO????

was just going through the hard drive on my lappie, when i came across this obscure piece of writing(??). back then i do not know what it had meant to me, but today i think i am clearer about it. here goes nothing:

"I was f***ing bored today. No one around in 301 and I was playing the same old rhythms on the kit with absolutely no wish to keep playing. Hell, I even fell asleep. Worse things could never happen. Couldn't keep doing that. Throwing off the drum sticks, I stomped my way down to the restaurant near our college, ordered some thing to force down my pipe (thought it was my tummy playing tricks on my brain). And when angrily chomping on my stuff, I happened to notice this man who was sitting in front of me. Description could be as good as saying Mr. Average Joe. Normal shirt and trousers, clean unshaved and disheveled hair. And he was constantly looking at something in his hand. Since from my place I could not make out what it was I decided to haul my bulk and change the angle. What I saw was a a leather wallet holding a handsome young mans picture. Black eyes, neatly parted hair, white shirt and a black blazer. The tie was maroon mind you, that’s a bit out of the way for me. Might be his son , I thought, albeit a little loudly. And as I quieted down I could hear the old guy sobbing. Poor thing, I thought. Old man missing his bright son. The typical Indian story- lower middle class family, brilliant boy in the fold, studies hard, gets a good job and off to America. The old man and his wife won’t live for long anyways. So why worry. Made me think about my dad and momentarily resolve that my father would not go through this. Well, all this thinking and conclusion reaching needed energy. As I finished off my short “anger venting meal”, I settled the charges and was about to leave as I saw it. The face of the man who was sitting in front of me. The face in the photograph. They were the same, leaving apart the stubble. And then I had nothing to ask anyone and not even myself. I was just pissed to no end about my drum sessions. That seemed like royalty in front of what I was a spectator to. This guy, has lost so much in his life that his once glorious days were his only support and they too were doing him no good.

No, returning from there, my drumming and my evening did not improve, heck, just because I had met a sadder man. But stopped me sure from cribbing about the bare bone fact. Couldn’t feel equal to it. Had to go home and sleep the night off. Tomorrow might be my lucky day."

Life in motion.......................

yeah yeah, say it...movie addict, typical engineering student, wasted i.t. professional. i wouldn't mind it, since most of the things are true(most......). i love watching movies. they were the only entertainment during all the boring exams, the only solace during submissions and journal writing(man, you must've seen our journal size...and we wrote it with our own hands!!!...someone give us some medal!!) . jokes apart, but really movies help us a lot. knowing things that we would have discovered after ages, stretching our imagination and god knows how many more things.

but hey, i am not here to talk about the advantages of watching movies. but wanted to talk about them. to be specific, two of them. one is my all time favourite, jack black's "school of rock" and the other one is a lesser known and ok-ok sorts (but mind it, i love both of them......the movies you pervert!!) "Rockstar". as you have already deducted using your very sharp brain that both of these movies are coherent to my favourite form of music i.e. rock.


but this is where the similarity ends. school of rock (lets call it s.o.r...........getting tired typing............:P ), humorously and very beautifully shows how a desperate rock musician (jack black.....boy one of his best performances) wants to get a band together to play in the "battle of the bands" and then when he finds none, he gets into a school on his buddy's name and discovers that the kids there can actually understand music better than many. he then opens up the world of magic, rock, dedicatedly and earnestly and very \m/-ly to them . some very beautiful instances, the way jack actually unveils the true face of rock, those awesome kids (katie the bass player is the best ............she is so cute) and the transition from classical music and attitude to rock. amazingly portrayed. the covert practise sessions , those facial expresssion, the police case and then the gig at the end!!...........amazing ..................too good..........(guiatr solo and drum roll.....heheheheh)

on the other hand, "rockstar" is about a rock singer who is part of a small time "tribute" band and when life decides to get lucky, he gets to be a member of the very same band, who he used to sing ...............rather worship. very astutely and artistically, the director manages to show the life and struggle of a budding rock musician. the dreams and aspirations and the whole lot. and when he actually becomes the full fledged vocalist of "steel dragon", how his relations with the band start of and turn out to be. along the way , the movie also manages to show the price that a rockstar has to pay for being what he is(mark wahlberg actually almost loses jennifer anniston.................:(..........) and the excesses of leading such a life. the good and the bad parts of it. but then (predictably.....yawwwwnnnnnnnn), the hero comes to his senses and learns that his life is not going the way he wanted to go and returns to what he does best, singing what he wants to sing and getting back to jennifer aniston. all is well and that ends well.

both movies, when taken into perspective, exactly show what i feel about rock or how my opinions came to be what they are. where s.o.r. teaches us the magic of rock and what it actually means , rockstar makes us aware of what the life of an aspiring musician can hold. fantastically all sides covered. and that is what makes me want to be a rock star. i want to discover that magic for myself and learn how to play something with dexterity (have started on drums cause they can take a lot of pounding..............;)..........heheh). i want to struggle and fight my way to the big stage. i want to face those fans , whose numbers grow from tens to thousands to millions(all this provided you manage to make yourself good enough). i want to indulge in those excesses, those material pleasures which are the most enticing part of such a lifestyle. i want to bust my butts touring around the world and stretching my body to its physical limits. i want to have those very "intense" discussions about life and music with my band mates. i want to be in that cramped studio and feel excited about recording an album. i want to fight with my band mates on creativity and maybe get fired also(on second thoughts .............no.........:D......).

having started off, i am experiencing some of these right now. but why not go the whole nine yards and see how it looks from the other side. when you have band mates like i have, the drive of doing something, the desire to stick it to the man and the raw passion for music, you basically have the right ingredients for the perfect recipe of a journey called "an exciting life". something which no novel can capture for you, which no tale can unravel for you. and when u step out of the boat on the opposite bank of the river, you can at least be sure that you have lived life which is worth remembering. today i remember how the rock greats lived (ozzy osbourne, metallica), how they pushed past some very huge obstacles (def lepards, rush) and also how they died (nirvana, led zeppelin). maybe many years down the line, my name would be remembered with the same love, respect and admiration(maybe even hate, malice and jealousy) as these. and that is what i live for.....that is what i yearn for...................and that is what i believe in. so, keep rocking and listening to "nothing else matters" cause that is what it says!

A Tribute...................

its definitely good to be back here, blogging. this time its a little different i guess for me.
here is something i wrote, hope y'all enjoy reading it.

today i lay him to rest,
sweet face, same smile,
just wont happen again.
just wont happen again.

life lead as a simple man,
came from a dot on this everest
lead him to pastures, his hunger to learn
and to stave off his hunger , he had to earn

small cash, big heart.
hmm, life promised much,
but hit the stone he had,
when the wheel was rolling right.

gave up the greens,
just out of his teens
his elders were alone,
care for them, they had none.

man of honour,
a true son,
his parents were fortunate,
in the billion, they had The One.

he rebuilt his world,
merry and wise
earned he the blessings
cynosure to many eyes.

from the moment i came to see,
he was there for me.
never words, just his eyes
as true as truth can be.

stood aloft on his shoulders
grew to up to grow
and also learned how to,
take what the world had to throw

ahead is always is right
thats what he would say
he just wouldn't preach,
what he didn't practice , night and day.

and when i stood tall,
with the gold of merit,
i forgot him , his pains
to save the knight, the armor always takes the hit.

and when the time came to say goodbye,
and leave for away land,
his lips had a prayer and a tear his eye,
i left,no goodbye and time slipped like the hourglass sand.

prospered did i, earned my worth
but not a thought of him.
how selfish had i become
how do i redeem.

and so i lived on
till he left for the abode.
and today i stand beside him,
alone, on a deserted road.

you realise the worth,
when u are bereaved of it,
late it is then, always is
the lights go out and the candle is lit.

how do i justify
the legacy he left me
the ring of gold,
stings, feels cold
move ahead he would always say
but its sure gonna be lonely
without you showing the way

this day i wished,
that i told you how proud i was
to be your son,to be your blood
to learn from you and play with you
this day i wished
i hadn't written this
but said to you what i feel,
and just a little,thank you dad.

i just wish that the last part wouldn't be true!!

"Skepsis" takes off...................

now now, control your anxieties and your fingers from throwing in a google search for the word. i have already checked it out and it shows the name of some psychiatric facility in austria. hehehe. no this is nothing out of the way or mental, but sure it is special." skepsis " is the name of my band. and let me make it clear that i am not the one who suggested the name!! well it does mean - a skeptical look towards attitude - so it should be pretty clear what kind of band mates i have..........:).............

well, yesterday after almost a month of waiting and brooding (was it only a month........god it felt like ages had passed!!) , i finally got together with the band. and this was the first get together after the band was christened "Skepsis". so all the more special. i couldn't wait to play the drums (bang them some of you hecklers might like to point out.....) i was about to reach the rehearsal room (umm, that will be the SAC for PICT students...hehehhehe...........) from my office. and i could already hear the drums pounding and the distortion guitar going bonkers all the way to the ground floor(SAC is on the 2nd floor). i broke into a run from my slow canter (yeah the building foundations were shaking and vibrating.) and just managed to reach the room as the song ended. man, what a great feeling, they all jumped up and it was all hugs and high fives and mano cornutas for some time. it just felt great to be back doing what i completely love doing (that is playing music you hecklers...........) and with people i love the most. and just because i work in a software company(yaaaaawwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnn!!) they made me feel that i have grown old , just because i have started working and that they needed a younger manager (and they started panting after this welcome session whereas i was still on my feet and well after that marathon run from the main lobby to the SAC........who has grown old??......;).................).

well after the ceremony and the updates were over, we got back to the playing part. they were preparing some "scorpions " song (who are they???.................:).....). well, i said , lets hear it. and after those initial checks it began. slow, heavy metal song, overdriven guitar interludes, melodious vocals and very distinct, energetic drums. all band members very attentively on their instruments and playing their parts to perfection, getting a feel for the music. tears welled up in my eyes, and i made no attempt to stop them from rolling down my cheeks. i felt like a proud father, looking at his son clutching a trophy won at the school track and field meet. this band had been my dream ever since i had started playing drums. i had always wanted to express what i felt through music, but then you need people who share the same views and understand what you want to say. the two years i spent trying to find the right guys for this project really tested my patience and the truth of my goal. or shall we call it youthful ambition? and today that patience and struggle had brought my dream to fruition. i was just so happy to be with these guys again. but soon enough, i had to wipe the tears cause Chirayu (that bugger..........grrrrr) needed help with the vocals (that means pure amplification.........in other words shouting!) so i had to step in. pure ecstasy. "fight, baby fight, i will win back your love again......................" so went the lyrics and i could just feel Klaus Meine take form inside me. the exhilaration in the song was just unsurpassed. unadulterated and fiercely passionate. and the joy was too much to take. i shouted, jumped danced around the place, prompted and egged people on during their parts.......it was just like it felt i was in seventh heaven. "i'm still loving you........................." and the guitar solo there was just the perfect form of expression i needed, words would have definitely fallen short. and we all understood what it meant for us without saying a single word. the song ended (i didn't want it to, really no......) and it took me a few seconds to take in all those moments of joy , made even sweeter by the long wait. it couldn't have been better. the perfect start. to a perfect journey?? the recording studios, the album releases , the playing arenas , the sellout tours?? i am already day dreaming about what it could go on to be. but only time was going to give the answer..............till then this is where "home" exists for me........................hey dudes, lets take that song once again from the top and Shankar, better get that second drum roll right..............!!

some favourite songs.................direct dil se!!!

well, apart from rest of the junk i have put down , this one is going to be updated for the rest of my life and i guess it helps people get a grip of rock music(i do not care even if it does not!!). so i listed down some of my favourite tracks. hope you enjoy listening to these when as and when you lay your hands on them(following songs are not in order of preference or anything. i am just jotting them down as i remember them):

metallica:
nothing else matters
st. anger
battery
enter sandman
sad but true
the unforgiven (1 &2)
the god that failed
astronomy
so what
turn the page
whiskey in the jar
sweet amber
frantic
fade to black
for whom the bell tolls
fuel
the memory remains
the call of the ktulu
i disappear

guns n roses:
november rain
don't cry
knockin on heavens door
paradise city
sweet child of mine

black sabbath:
ironman
sabbath bloody sabbath
paranoid
fx

ozzy osbourne:
killer of giants (amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing song!!)
ironhead


deep purple:
smoke on the water
woman from tokyo
fireball
hush
child in time
highway star

bon jovi:
keep the faith
keep on rocking in the free world
its my life
something to believe in
wanted dead or alive
someday i will be saturday night
everyday
bad medicine

iron maiden:
fear of the dark
the trooper
bring your daughter....
reincarnation of benjamin breeg
blood brothers

scorpions:
still loving you
rock you like a hurricane
big city nights
holiday
i'm leaving you
winds of change
send me an angel

system of a down:
aerials
streamline
spiders
chopsuey
psycho
war
boom
toxicity

aerosmith:
jaded
dream on
sweet emotion
kings and queens
crazy
i don't wanna miss a think
girls of summer
walk in the sand
angels 2000
spider man ost mix

linkin park:
crawling
in the end
by myself
runaway
points of authority(great song)
numb
easier to run
cure for the itch
place for my head
figure
where'd you go(fort minor)
remember the name(fort minor)
99 problems/ points of authority (collision course)
what i've done
papercut

limp bizkit:
nookie
my way
my generation
rollin(both versions)
re-arranged
break stuff
jump around
behind blue eyes
counterfeit
take a look around

korn:
twisted transistor
dead bodies everywhere

creed:
higher
with arms wide open
what if
don't stop dancing
my sacrifice
my own prison
human clay
to whom it may concern
faceless man

megadeth:
a tout le monde
tornado of souls
symphonies of destruction
holy wars

dream theater:
home
ytse jam
erotomania
voices
disappear
scarred
jaws of life
glasgow kiss
damage control
animate-inanimate
wishful thinking

ac/dc:
stiff upper lip
hells bells
rock and roll ain't noise pollution
tnt
touch too much
give the dog a bone

evanescence:
my immortal (band version)
bring me to life
going under
tourniquet
hello
imaginary
everybody's fool
taking over me

godsmack:
vampires
voodoo
i stand alone
bad religion
re-align
awake
alive
going down
serenity

nirvana:
smells like teen spirit
come as you are
lithium
the man who sold the world
dumb

bryan adams:
summer of 69
cuts like a knife
when you're gone
only thing that looks good on me is you
cant stop this thing we started
dont give it up
everything i do
18 till i die
best of me

pink floyd:
another brick in the wall
run like hell
hey you
comfortably numb
thin ice
wish you were here
empty spaces
goodbye cruel world
young lust

apocalyptica:
all metallica covers, esp one, nothing else matters etc
prologue
faraway
cohkka
drive
heat
torreador 2
pandemonium
perdition

alter bridge:
broken wings
one day remains
open your eyes
metalingus
shed my skin

nickelback:
how you remind me
someday
too bad
hero
yankin out my

hoobastank:
the reason
disappear
losing my grip
running away
crawling in the dark
same direction

the rasmus:
first day of my life
in the shadows
the funeral song

p.o.d.:
youth of the nation
set it off
america(with carlos santana)

chris daughtry:
home(accoustic)
crashed
what i want (featuring slash)

coldplay:
yellow
clocks
the scientist
trouble

joe satriani:
satch boogie
war
starry night
top gun anthem(all time fav)

marty friedman:
saturation point
the ninja

eric clapton:
tears in heaven
layla
cocaine
hey hey
wonderful tonight

dire straits/ mark knopfler;
brothers in arms
sultans of swing
money for nothing
romeo and juliet

pearl jam:
alive
last kiss

slayer:
angel of death
raining blood
war ensemble
mandatory suicide
altar of sacrifice
anti christ
jesus saves

lamb of god:
now you've got something to die for
redneck
ruin
as the palaces burn
blacken the cursed sun
pathetic

shadows fall:
another hero lost
the power of i and i
idiot box
what drives the weak

rush:
tom sawyer
2112
spirit of radio
mystic rhythms
free will
driven
closer to the hear




and many more........they just keep coming

40 is cooooooooool.........!!!!!!!

before you start scratchin your head as to whether i have gone bonkers, let me clarify that i have not visited an old age home and neither have i taken a liking to the archtypical software engineers' life where at the age of 40 you have loads of everything. far from it. this is not concerned with age in any way, its something about speed. i know speed and 40 don't quite sound right next to each other , but relax. answers are on their way.

well, lets take it from the top. my roomie just got a new bike on saturday. one of those "definitely male" ones......(cliched ain't it?.........hehehehe). great looking bike, all black, digital show-off-meter, blah,blah. and my dear roomie is a known nerdie for rules and instructions(has read each and every instruction manuals.....such habits get embedded when you read too many rfc's.....;)....).

well getting on with what i wanted to talk, this roomie is a stickler for instructions. and the manual says (loudly in bold letters....) "drive at the speed of 40 for the first 500 kms". and so goes the tale, like it ever started. sunday morning and we get the new member of our family (i am not joking..."he" is a very important part of the family......."his" food comes at 50 bucks per litre........!!!) out of the garage, clean and fire it up. and then out on the road to show off. but 'twas the day everything seemed to be going wrong. we are being overtaken left and right, by slower and smaller bikes and other forms of transport(human and inhuman....hehehhe). we were overtaken by a six seater for chrissakes!!! i felt like wearing a paper bag on my face with two eyes bored out in it. it was terribly embarrassing. and no matter how much i rambled about how we could go a bit fast and how being very rigid with the speeds could be bad for the bike, nobody was giving it any ear.

roomie not budging, a straight face and the dialogue," i have paid my hard earned money and i'm not about to f*** it up.", kept him going and me ruing. but then i actually speaking it wasn't that bad(aren't i just being stupid?!). i mean when you drive in pune's traffic you really appreciate the fact that you are alive when you get home. also that nothing from the bike has been chopped off. and the slow speed does help. correcting the mistakes others have created, changing lanes illegally, swearing with a sense of drama and pride (cause you think you are driving slow and that is the right thing to do!!!!). and the fun part is , you can check out all the chicks on f.c. road real close and nice......hehehhehehehhe.........

but the best bit came by when we were returning to our haven (i meant our home, not a beer bar...:).....). the roads were wide open, very less traffic and warm wind gushing all over you (and messing up your hair style). but then as we cruised on the university road, it felt like there's no tomorrow. the feeling was amazing. of course the adrenaline rush was nowhere like the royal enfield thunderbird which roared to 110kph with little effort and gave the riders (thats us!!!) some snob value in the eyes of the commoners,(rather there was nothing like an adrenaline rush....) but the dopamine(thats the pleasure stuff) levels in my blood were stratospheric(proving that sex and food are not the only best methods to generate bucketloads of that). i just felt like i had to keep going. no worries , no tensions, just pure unadulterated pleasure. all at the speed of 40!!!!!!!! why do we ride any faster....hehehehhehehheh....

just cause everyone does??? answers, if any are not at all expected and should be kept at your anonymous selves. click click boom and off i go.........!!!

Question and quest........

clouds in the sky,
same as those questions, my mind is clouded by.
will it or will it not?
can i or i just back off?
questions , doubts and questions again.
they crowd driving me insane.
things in life every minute happen.
and every minute brings another question con el.
love, work, fun ...might seem fine
but all seems to go wrong with time.
cause as the clock ticks by,
and the questions crowd your eye
mind stops thinking, starts to whine
why am i not working?
adds another question,
have i run out of time?

Blurry......................

sitting on a bench,
empty , soul less.
faces pass by, known unknown.
and offer kind words.
but not the touch i long for.
in life's backstage, i search for my rose.
a divine blaze in which i can search myself.
it'll shield me from the vagaries outside,
and quell the storm within.
for i'm unstable, perturbed.
in an illusionary world of my own, a daydream.
suddenly i'm awake,
and i see the sun rise.
does that bring a new ray of hope,
or just another day of loneliness??

Liquor on ur mind.................?!

well, this must have been an oft discussed topic, but still i want to write about this. last friday, a friend finally agreed to treat us for two crimes he had commited: he was born in that very month 21 years ago and that he is the topper from our college. after two days of begging and cajoling about things ranging from friendship to professionalism and the salary amount lying in his bank account, there was a thaw in this ice. well we had no idea what the treat would turn out to be, but when we finally came to know, i saw that the boys had decided to grow up(silence please.....explanations on the way). a well known joint on the outskirts of the town, which was a pain to get to, was the venue and we hardly managed to reach there at 9 when the agreed meeting time was 8. well, unimportant crap aside, what the joint served was far more interesting. smoky aam-biance, rock music (with the volume control taken to max and then the knob removed and thrown into the sea)...and some of the most amazing cocktails you could ever lay your hands on. the price tags were stratospheric. but we were being treated, weren't we?

the drinks flowed with the usual smokes . it was all fun and games till we were just enjoying the environs.but then as by one the blabber mouths started opening under the influence of that wonderful "go 2 hell",it was raining revelations would be an understatement for what we heard. folks talking about their personal lives, about their past experiments(...........!) with liquor and smoke and what not. for chrissakes,one of my friends was foremost in this and for 3 years i thought that he was the straightest guy in class!!!! but then we reveled in the discussions where we came to know(thank god for the liquor) what we thought about each other and all for the good. what we wanted the others to change and the reciprocation , who we hated and liked, our attitudes towards our parents and everything that we would not even think about alone was becoming a public affair.

and that brings me to the question for the umpteenth time(since i have consumed the heavenly fluids for the [umpteen-1] times in my life...........:)..........), does it really help to drink liquor and have a likewise company. of course liquor is bad if taken the way shown in those huge quantities (as has been glorified in the American pie series.............heheh.......).but is it unethical to have a meeting over a round of rum or rye? do those rigid bounds put on us by our parents (and strictly enforced...) turn us towards liquor in a more anti-social way? and are beer drinking pals any worse than what you would normally have? why the taboo? right now i am too drunk to think about what i have ranted , but then are you??? till you think, lets down another round of that "go 2 hell" yaar............cheers!!!!!!

Heavy metal................music is it ?

scenario 1: though i m not a singer (at all), i have a habit of humming my favourite songs rather aloud.thus goes the case when one day i was at the top of my "vocal" artistry singing the " na na-na-na........." part of the song "the memory remains" by metallica. and a very good friend of mine (bastard.........grrrrrr) just stood up to me and started impersonating a beggar. well we all had a good laugh and claps, but then when i asked him why he did that, he said "abe kya gaana hai woh......pehle pagal log tere muh pe chilla ke jaate hain fir ek buddhi aake tera dimag kharab karti hai". i was quite taken aback by this as the song is one of my absolute favourites and such thoughts did not once enter my mind even when i heard the song for the first time.

scenario 2: as you have discovered i made a mess(with the help of my buddies) of a legendary song, but my skills with the pen and paper are better than my vocal cord stretching ones. so from time to time i "re-image" my thoughts onto paper and the maintain some sort of diary log. after a while, you think what is the use of writing all this if no one is going to read it (i won't cause i wrote it.......;).....). and since i am a huge (literally and figuratively) rock fan, the influence was straight-a-way evident on my writing. poems(...!) about human misery, sufferings and in the good old way of " sticking it to the man" became my topics of choice. then just to get an opinion as to how good they were, i showed the written crap (oh so sorry my poems i would never call you that........plz!!!) to a very trusted friend (mind you she was a girl). and into the first verse she was on the verge of freaking out. she did not even care to read the 3rd para and beyond. she looked at me with dagger-filled eyes and said "how old are you bey?....kuch bhi sochta rehta hai. write something good na , like about love and life. yeh kya har jagah pe ronaa - dhonaa marnaa-kaatnaa laga rakha hai."

scenario 3 : this is small though. i wanted to be friends with this girl (nothing very serious...:)........it was online......). and we were just discussing our interests. the moment i said i was into rock and metal , the chat window showed " signed out". hhehehehehe.

well, the scenarios can go on and on, but then at one point i had to say stop. what the heck, i mean, what is the problem with people. well lets get realistic, the lyrics are sad and painful. yeah and what about those hindi song lyrics , which are very cheery but completely useless and sad sometimes but utterly meaningless. the music is "too loud". well, what about those himmesh reshammiya songs that you absolutely adore. ok, the language is difficult and the pronounciation is beyond grasp. but metal music is genuine and the lyrics and the music is written by the band members themselves. technically its very demanding and the instrumentalists are really very skilled. ask anybody in your vicinity who plays any instrument as to who is his idol and i am pretty sure that the names he/she will list down will mostly be rock artists.

the lyrics talk about everyday life. life is more made up of pain than of success and happiness. it is this pain that rock celebrates because ultimately it leads to perseverance and that leads to success. rock talks about failed love, dreams and aspirations, lives of people, young life and adventure, addictions and realisations ................just everything that a normal man is bound to encounter in his life.and still it is tabooed so to say by the very f***in "normal man". another bone of contention is the life styles of rock stars . their drug addictions, the way they carry themselves, the excesses(they own an aircraft, wasn't that your dream too??). well, these guys are under under tremendous strain , while touring around the world (touring for them is not a family trip.....its the hardest time for them, being away from family and friends for months at end) or while recording at the studio. no, surprises then that most rock stars are billionaires and they like to splurge their money even if it buys them some moments of happiness. and lets be frank about drugs and liquor. how many of us have not had liquor in high school or college at party's and farewells .that too just for fun.and how many of us have seen best friends (read band members) leaving forever, heartbroken or dying in front of us. and how many of us ever did anything creative after getting high (on alcohol or on cold drinks.............cause i dunno any drug addicts...........:P.....) frankly speaking , i see that we are lower than we thought.

but still the music is abhorred. my friends will keep joking about metal songs and i will be there to take that and smile back falsely at them. but hey, who cares. i am 21, hooked on to rock which is all about " sticking it to the man" and doing what you want to with out worrying for the world. so i'm going to get stoned(which means something by the way........) and put on my stereo loaded with "st. anger" , turn off the lights and then ............off to never never land.......ciao.......till then you can keep enjoyin your wannabe rockstars.........how abyssmal and cliched!!!!