Slayer and Slain!

again back after a long time .....a break full of lunacy and emotions and stupidity also..............
well in the meantime i had the moments to write this down. was like a trance when i put pen to paper and then when i woke up it was done. dunno what to say about it.

alone i stand beside my curved steel,
audience to a theater of war
me the victor, thee the vanquished.
dismembered, disfigured ,all those who face me.
lie they all conquered, i care to see.
lies my brother for all his love
sleeps my friend , dreams he helped me have.
choked my love, for the meaning her life to mine gave
happiness i once prayed for them
salvation today i deny them.
for a wrong that was never meant to be.
and when the gaze lowers to my own self,
left am i disgusted like no else.
did that small child just disappear,
or did i act the butcher.
when did this venom grow?
why let the devil tighten its claw?
mastered my own will, i did
cultivated the bed for this black seed.
helped everyone , i thought
what curse upon them i brought
caretaker turned slayer
carnage brewed from what i held dear
blindfolded myself to let me see
everyone is dread, threat and enemy
forged a sword sharp as it could be
bonds of love could never stand the hara kiri
sliced through all, heart black and cold
carved a story, no tongue would unfold.
victor i stand, testimony to my wrath
king to the crown i never sought
what cost have i paid to earn the name
the gladiator or the morally slain?

p.s. : this is to be taken purely as a collection of words with no links to reality whatsoever.