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Sunday, April 27, 2014

Duur Kinara...

Listening to this song and watching this episode, brings back memories. A crisp summer evening in Minneapolis. Sitting around with the best of friends, watching episodes of "The Dewarists" and being inspired by songs as these. Which would then be rounded off by watching the sun sink into the  Mississippi from the Stone Arch Bridge. 

That bond and love has still remained and is as strong as ever. It has been tested and tried. And it lived well. Going from a great social and urban atmosphere to a self imposed, but not a choice based isolation was a tumbling around of my world that I never saw coming. From multiple points of reference and perspective, I am down to one. Putting my thoughts into the ether and watch them bounce off the walls, get tangled and be injected back into me. 

It was uncomfortable hearing my own thought patterns so vividly and honestly, since there was always a veil, of which they would be deflected off. That veil had been removed in seclusion. To understand the grain of my own being and recognise that this was the person everyone else was seeing, was oddly unsettling at first. But it made more and more sense, as time passed by.

I used to be of the opinion that you do not need physical seclusion to really reach that single point of conscious thought. The strength in that argument has waned quite a bit after observing myself through a similar process. Yes, physical seclusion is not mandatory, but it does remove a lot of distractions, puts you in spots where you live with your thoughts, actions resulting from them and the thoughts emanating from those. Although cannibalistic, it allows for a single train of thought that you can trace back. 

And rote repetition of this process, with and against your wish and will, has brought me to meet myself and brought peace to an otherwise agitated mind. 

So now, a year and a half later, I sit in this room in the middle of nowhere, ready for the next change, the next phase of my life - companionship. Having found my soul mate years ago, its time that a room had the two us. Our thoughts bouncing around, resulting into actions affecting us both. And a new conscious being emerges. In all its serenity, it couldn't be more exciting.