An incident from the not so distant past. Makes me laugh every time I remember it. Without fail.
It had just been a month or so after I was safely employed. Nothing to do with my job though. But with something called heavy metal music. Especially in Pune. Got to know about a gig through a friend. I had to go . How can I not. Especially when Brute Force were performing? So that hammers out any creases on the surface. Just the timing of the gig might present a bit of a problem. But determination hath its say. Nothing doing. Rocking means rocking. Lolz.
Actually my office bus reaches back at 5:45. the gig was scheduled at 6:30. so I would not have the time to dress up (!!) for the gig. Yeah yeah. Those were the days when I still had something in my wardrobe that wasn’t black in colour. Now it’s a different story. Or the same colour. Well, so I had to change (!!!) and then catch a ride to the venue. But if punctuality was to be observed (eggheads, that is very important to me, even if it doesn’t even feature in the top ten list for the organizers) then there would be no chance of me changing my attire.
You know, at times I wish I had never known of something called Murphy’s Law. That way I could have cursed luck or fate or something else. But things not changing things started going wrong on gig day. We had an audit , and so, I had to wear formals (holy sacrilege……….i know). Now not only am I completely uncomfortable in formals but also look like a complete dork. But then Mr. Murphy makes sure that you commit suicide once in a while. Without shedding a drop of blood. Painful.
So there was the dork. Spent a normal day in office. The audit came and went by. I wasn’t close to it by miles. Yeah. Stop chuckling to yourself. I WENT TO THE GIG IN FORMALS!!!!!! A HEAVY METAL GIG!!!!
Let me tell you how embarrassing it can be. Have you ever been through that experience where you try a karate kick on your mate and your trousers rip open to reveal the not so pleasant parts of your body. Take that feeling, multiply it by 100 and then square it. You are getting close. There wasn’t a single eye which went by without staring at me. Not a single lady who did not snigger at me. Not a single dude who did not call me names, albeit silently. Cause whatever might be the case, I still weight quite a few pounds and that does matter. Even mates who got passes for me, kept a safe distance. “we are not with him.” Yeah . Right.
Well, nevertheless, after making a joke of my appearance and my punctuality, the gig did start. Bands playing their hearts out. This one particular band had a female lead vocalist. And she was damn good , looking and sounding. But she did not find any fans. Any except one. Me. Imagine screaming for someone in support and in return have the whole place stare at you. Even the technicians and the judges. But she was good. And I did not stop screaming. Do what you feel is right. Yeah. Right.
More salt to the wound, everyone had drinks in their hand and smokes up their asses. Cause one of the organizers was a brewery and was giving a couple of drinks free with every entry pass. And yeah. As you probably guessed. I did not have a glass in my hand. I do not like whiskey. Better keep that reason to myself I thought. Or get thrown out.
Last of all bands, and my favourite, was Brute Force. This is one band I have enormous respect for and I love to mosh and head band when they tear the place apart. So when they came on, I knew the evening would be worth it. Cause all this time I was just standing there, alone in the crowd , not making any movements. Alienating myself from everyone else. Sober against drunk. Neatly parted hair against head banging induced dishevel ness.
And did BF have something up their sleeves. First track, Brute Force. From the moment the first riff hit the amps, The gears which link my neck to the rest of the body, went into over drive. I was amidst a head banging high. “……..brute Force……..yeahhhhhhhh”. for a better part of half an hour, my posture could be roughly described as “everything shaking and moving except for the mano cornutas raised above my head.” I was loving it.
The real surprise came when the band was about to hit the last song “”Opportunity denied.” A guitar string broke and there was a brief silence. And I just happened to open my eyes and put on my specs (pocketed them while head banging). People around me……..their jaws were about to drop and their eyes were about to come out of their sockets and dance on the floor. To them I was a man who was never capable of anything else other than shouting and the occasional devil horns. How did he get into the head banging frenzy? How did he jump into the mosh pit? All I could do was smile. And wink at the girls who had sniggered at me earlier. I could see them returning the favour. Boy, do I love shocking people!
Completely drenched in sweat and smoke after the gig, I was spent. Couldn’t even stand straight. But I was happy. Brute Force won. and I had people coming upto me and apologizing, offering me rides back home and have a drink with them. They had mistaken me for someone who would not be metal, just because I was wearing formals. Appearances can be deceiving. \m__m/
Even today, when I meet dudes from that gig (of course I made a lot of friends in this process) , we have a good laugh about it. They did learn something from me. But since then, I have never been to office in formals.:D.