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Monday, June 1, 2009

Wheeled representatives......

I know it's fairly impossible, but somehow, i seem to have done it. 85 posts on my blog and not one about cars. I mean, i just realised that and shook my head in disbelief. Well, this wrong has to be corrected. Justice has to be served.

The Mclaren F1 (Comes first, 'cause this is my favourite car of all time)

The first car to breach the Million dollar price tag. Fastest production car on earth for 13 years and only a 106 were ever made, all completely hand built in Woking, England. This car is all about sense of purpose and purity of existence. No compromises. People who buy this car, are very successful, big earners and very learned. But they are also nerds, geeks and will bore you to death with their knowledge of what the F1 is made up and how it is better in purpose and function than, say, your Hyundai Accent.

The Lamborghini Murcielago

The scariest and at the same time the most desirable supercar. Belongs to people who are born reality TV shows. Their penchant for showing off reflects everywhere. They will wear neon clothes and shut down the electricity power plant to darken the city and make everybody notice them. Perennial show offs, loud, brash, arrogant to point of being offensive. But yet a very desirable or rather indelible part of the social fabric.

The Fiat 500

Cute little mouse, thinks he is a Lion. Makes all the right noises, but lacks the size. Entertaining, nevertheless. For all those who bite more than they can chew.

The Hindustan Ambassador

I think this one is pretty plain. Politics is, was or is going to be a part of this persons life. Loads of space in the back for the Indian babu election campaign team alongwith the banners and sign boards and pamphlets et al. Very low maintenance, will go over almost any kind of road (tarmac, cement,gravel...) found in India. Preferred in white with a light on top.

The Porsche 911

For the trackday enthusiast. For someone who believes, that this is a tool to be thrashed on the race track and derives maximum pleasurein doing so. A little show off. A whole lot of talent. But a complete lack of progressive styling. Like insistence on wearing khadi, even in the space shuttle.

The Mercedes Benz S class

For the jet setter, who enjoys a moment of peace. For someone who does want to show the world he is successful, but without disturbing anyones peace and silence. Also for someone who is more interested in the future than the present. Huge on size, packed with features and yeah, costly.

The Rolls Royce Phantom

For someone who will not buy anything that says second best. Which includes the mascot. Stubborn, stiff lipped, tea sipping colonialists with a predisposition of giving everybody else an inferiority complex.

The Ford Mustang

For people, who have brains that cannot do more than one thing once. Who give overtly too much importance to being manly. Who think there is no substitute to size for better performance. In short, for aborigines, the petrol head sorts.

The Ferrari 575M

For people who believe that technology developed elsewhere is always good and helps you progress. For those who believe in physical beauty and sensual pleasing, than function. Even if the car is not capable of moving an inch because of a flat battery, these guys will keep ogling at the car and consequently never go anywhere, other than shuttle between their garage and home. In short, a complete opposite of the Porsche 911.

The Toyota Corolla

Reliability and function is the key word. No failures tolerated. Form does not figure in the top 10 of this list. Head before heart. Pragmatic and dogmatic at the same time. But does not put a foot wrong. For people who don't like taking chances, keeping it conservative and make 2 ends meet and be happy with it.

The Tata Nano

The poor, parsimonious, and the pseudo patriotic types. If they had the money to buy the Nano, then they can surely put some more together to buy a well made Maruti 800 or Alto and also keep safe their dignity and their lives, rather than putting all their hard earned money into a not so well made, not comfortably spacious and barely bearable contraption of metal.

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