This post is a little more profane and obscene than you might like it. So if you are not liberal enough, please do not proceed any further. And if you still have the balls to, do not blame me for the consequences.
There are some things that i have a pathological hatred for. French, the language, just happens to be one of them. It might be touted as the most romantic language ever, but thats just cause like all French girls, super models and prostitutes, its beauty is only skin deep. Have come to this conclusion after a long and hard epoch of farting, gulping gallons of water, cursing etc etc........ Let me put this into a small little story for you.
The earliest ancestors or should i say, the progenitors of the French were two males. Which directly makes them homosexual. But thats just a fact to state. More of an eulogy to the French. The more important point here is, each of these cunts had one sense missing out of the total 5. The first man, called Jacque was a deaf dimwit and the other , Edouard was a blind half ass. Now since neither knew nothing else except sexual innuendo, gestures and acts, they decided to invent a language.
Hence, Jacque the Deaf wrote the words (with the alphabets stolen from somewhere) and did not care to know how would any son-of-a-......... (well, let me know of one animal that the French do not tear apart and eat with a voracious appetite) pronounce it. And the other dickhead, Edouard (he could not see his head.....he was blind....:D) just blurted out whatever came to his mind, without caring to ask Jacque what he had pen-puked on the wall.
And so came to be French, a language whose written words and spoken words have no connection what-so-fucking-ever! And to add some puddle to the shit pudding, the French people are proud of it......yeah sure.........as proud as they are for inventing the guillotine.
The French population, might have originated as and when Jacque and Edouard, tired of fucking each other, broke off and went and humped some real girls from the neighbouring countries. A success of their charm and bravery, you see, which carries on unto this day.
So, i love the Paris postcards, with the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre and also the skimpily clad beautiful girls that have made this country famous (other than its vast and deep history). But thanks to Jacque and Edouard, i despise their language.