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Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Ramping Up.

If you want to work in the semiconductor industry, you better have passion for it. Buy, beg, steal, borrow that passion. That is fine.

Quality Engineering is like a purple dildo stuck up your colon. It does not come out. You will start liking it. Give it time.

Better be good at statistics. Get divorced, if that helps.

In here, you are always guilty. Guilty, until proven innocent by the occasional good news. And innocence is only proven by trace data and statistics.

Don't mess with women, is what I always say. It's never the right thing to do. But, stay out of the way of women who work in the semiconductor industry. They have huge brains and brawn and that indelible charm. Men, it seems, are at a natural disadvantage for once.

Be assertive. Or, get fired. Eventually.

Improvement Plans need improvement plans. They are recorded in Excel files that need an entry in another Excel file to be kept track of.

Start liking the idea of living in meetings and doing all your work after office hours. Also, those meeting things. They work.

Learn to keep up with the gazillion acronyms. Conversely, if your English is shit, you can come up with as many acronyms as you can.

The two most important laws to know are these : Moore's and Murphy's.