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Thursday, October 27, 2011

Fuck the hybrid!

An absolute rant coming up. Brace up and if you are going to complain, I suggest you shut your stupid whining horizontal vagina up.

This is the last time I am going to speak on this topic, hopefully. Next time, I start shooting people with water guns and eggs or something. Hybrids are stupid. Stupid as a dodo. As stupid as Michelle Bachmann. Or maybe a little less. Prius or Insight or Doodly fucking doo dah! Hybrids just do not make sense!

Lets start with the overall fuel economy. That is a good starting point, as that is where this argument usually starts. A Prius can give you 45mpg tops. Even with the most feather footed of drivers, it cannot possibly give more. This is not an empty statement. Car magazines and programmes all over this planet have tested and confirmed this fact. A Volkswagen Golf Blue Motion TDI on the other hand, is capable of doing 80 mpg. Talk to Top Gear if you need proof. Or search on Youtube for "Top Gear economy run". Or any magazine for that matter. An internal combustion diesel with clever electronics is capable of more than that miserable plastic lunch box. What an insufferable car!

Driving pleasure is up next. Now, I know, half the people will want to watch porn by the time they get here. But yeah, to people who really care how their car rides, again these Hybrids come up short. Stupid tardy shoe boxes, with suspension that is too saggy, weight distribution completely fucked up and steering response that is as quick as a tortoise trying to raise its paw, it holding the title for a true drivers car is not going to be a reality any time soon.

Ah, and my favourite is the price thing. I tried this out for myself and found results astonishing. A completely specced up Volkswagen Jetta will cost you $30,000. And guess what is the price for a base model Prius? Stopped yapping about hybrids yet, hmmm? Whimpering maniacal buttmunches!

Last but not the least. The proverbial white elephant in the room. Pollution. Isn't that why you bought a Prius instead of a Nissan Altima or a Toyota Matrix or a Honda Accord or a Ford Focus? 'Cause it is green. 'Cause it produces less CO2 in the city cycle and less CO2 overall. True. On paper, a Prius beats a Golf/Jetta on emissions. But let me ask you, what are the emissions involved in the manufacture of a Nickel battery? And not just emissions, water and soil pollution too. Did you think of that you old cunt? This is even assuming the fact that the rest of the emissions for manufacturing the entire car is same for both makes.

You bought a hybrid because the world says it is cool to own one. Because the government in its infinite insipidity says that it is a greener option. Because hybrid owners get some tax cuts. In heavily congested cities like London, hybrid owners do not pay congestion tax. And because of your lazy and crooked ass logic, that you are doing your part in saving this planet from certain annihilation when you say, "oh, I drive a hybrid". Fuck you, you dumbass hypocrite! Because all you care about is that you reach from A to B. Because you are as bland and obtuse as your choice of wheels. That is a fact. Face it. Eat it. Tastes terrible, doesn't it?

And now, before you go and try to throw up, here is the last nail in your coffin.Watch it, you disagreeing wanker!


  1. Volkswagen Golf Blue Motion TDI is a diesel you dummy. Its just stupid to compare the fuel efficiency of a Diesel with a petrol engine and besides rigorous tests have shown that 60mpg is the max a VW can achieve when compared to the 51mpg of a Prius.
    Diesel costs much more than petrol here in the US than in the European countries the vw was built for.
    You can get a brand new Prius for as low as 28k$ whereas the VW costs 35k$.

  2. @Maximus.... I know when I write TDI, I am talking about a Diesel. And its not stupid to compare because ultimately people want to settle for the most fuel efficient option. The plus side is that diesel cars nowadays have similar/better performance as compared to petrol cars. On the price, its just a matter of 20 cents a gallon difference. 60mpg in a VW is on the combined cycle and 51 mpg on the Prius is the highway cycle. And the price thing, please, just go and check for yourself, because I have. You Dummy.

  3. You may wanna check this out...November 1, 2011 at 2:23 PM