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Saturday, May 18, 2013

Rest Easy, Angel of Death.

There are no subtle intro lines to this and so lets just cut to the chase. When one of the architects-in-chief of heavy metal as we know today, Jeff Hanneman of Slayer, passed away a couple of weeks back, it came as a rude shock would be an understatement. In his memory, instead of the customary silence, fans around the world cranked Slayer songs , Raining Blood comes to mind, for prolonged duration at hearing injury inducing levels. If you think that is a bit odd, well, it is pure metal. And you are an idiot.

As the metal world lets the news sink in and pay tribute to a fallen brother, its just a lot of good will and  vibes around. And in this real world we live in, there have to be checks and balances of all kinds, for some reason. Enter the sub-single digit IQ'd numb nuts of the Westboro Baptist Church. Instead of me wasting words on anything, I will let the pictures below paint a much more compelling picture. 

Now, there are many scenarios that can be seen here. Some funnier than the others.

1. That imagery does not really dissuade any Slayer fan. We find peace and strength in songs like "Dead Skin Mask", "God Hates Us All", "Angel of Death" and the list is too long and I am too lazy.

2. Your "God" has already consigned Jeff Hanneman to hell or some other place like that. So why bother picketing Jeff's funeral. You should be celebrating in your shithole.

3. Picketing at funerals of soldiers KIA is bad enough. Leave their families alone. Picketing the funeral of man whose fans are known to carve the bands' name into their own flesh has to mean you have reached a new level. Congratulations on finding the balls to think about doing something like this. 

4. WBC, you are just 40 strong, with a bunch of banners and posters. Jeff Hanneman's fans number in the millions world wide. Thousands will show up at the funeral, take my word for it. Your best case scenario is, they just form a human chain around the funeral procession.

5. Beyond the above mentioned, it just gets better. Drowning out the "God hates your stars" rhetoric in a rude open air ambiance of Slayer songs. Moshing around the picketing morons. Dousing them with pigs blood. Inflicting some injuries. Violent clash resulting in the eventual wipe out of the Westboro Baptist Church. Take your pick. 

I am not a religious apologist. Don't want to be one today. But I want to ask you to leave this one alone. You do not want to face a crowd of grieving Slayer fans. We want to remember and celebrate the life of someone who was an awesome musician, wrote some songs that have since become immortal in the annals of metal and above all, a genuinely good human being. It has already been conclusively proven that your god, your church and your pickets stand for nothing good and worthy. Go and bury your head in the sand and think about what you are going to do before showing up at the Palladium, Los Angeles to a reality inducing sound track of "God Hates Us All". 

Jeff Hanneman, you frigging legend. Rest easy. Your legacy is intact and immortal. \m/.

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