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Saturday, March 30, 2013

Axiomata.

Of late, the mystery of existence and its reason has been hanging heavy on the shoulders of my brain. (I am a little drunk. Bear with me.) Why are we here? What are we here to do? And regurgitating on thoughts swirling around questions as such, leads to the question :

What are my rights as a human being? And what are the responsibilities that come with it?

My starting point is always the same - how life started. A firm believer in Darwinian evolution, survival is the key. It is the mother of all necessities. Things, we would not think of doing under normal circumstances, we will readily grapple with, if it came to our survival. 

That said, I agree with Richard Dawkins when he says that a Darwinian society would be a terrible place to live. But it does not change the fundamental rules of this game called The Human Life. And hence, this is my pitch. 

I have the right to live. As a being that came into this world, I think I should be allowed a natural death. 

The responsibility - I will not inflict on somebody, a condition that I would not want somebody else to inflict on me. Seems very sensible when you hear it, but its not the way the present world is run. 

And that, I would like to think, is the seed of all the other rules and laws that have come to be in the world. The ones that are not conducive to the survival of the human species will be eradicated with time. All will be tested in the burning white heat of survival. What remains, shall endure. 


Il Passione.....

Watching a good match between F.C. Barcelona and Celta Vigo on a relaxed, sunny Saturday afternoon is a lucky co-incidence when you live in the Adirondacks. Breaking the dead quiet of the afternoon is the commentary for the match. Now, I would like to say straight away, I am not against any person making his or her living commentating on sports. Do it, if it makes you happy. Feed me more bullshit about a players personal life and for I will gladly lap it up. Train that gun of useless statistics at me, for I will be blown away at how much research goes behind this commentating business. And then the inevitable questions -  is this commentating and statistics shit really important? When did reporting on the match as it was became not enough? Do these commentators really feel so connected with the game? Does it make a difference?

 DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE PASSION FOR THIS SPORT??

And it is that latter question that has been bugging me. How could a commentator, most probably a former player, feel so much for a game? To what end? He will never play again, so why get so involved? To what end is this passion directed?

This is where the meandering starts. How do I feel about what I do? How connected am I to what happens? I thought I always knew what passion was. This invisible drive that forces you to empathise with some cause. Get involved. Work with it. On it. Hitler must have been a passion cornucopia, going by what he accomplished, the cunt. Jenna Jameson must have had a lot of passion, pun intended, making some of the best porn in the business (I am quite the fan, ain't I?). A more obscure example, Adrian Newey, that wizard Formula 1 car designer (ex-McLaren, Red Bull) can only ever talk about what the car does and does not and how it was a deviation from what he wanted it to do. How much does passion drive a human? Is excellence the goal or just a passing mile stone? What does it accomplish?

I have to confess, when I took the trip from Minneapolis to Coachella Valley to see the Big 4 play, I felt the most passionate music fan in the whole universe. Along with 59,000 others, I am guessing. And I heard some great music. The pain of standing for 12 hours just cemented my passion, it seems. I love this shit! In my own little bubble, I was holding the Passionate Award.

And in my workplace, where I am surrounded by some of the smartest technical minds in the world of semiconductors, I am constantly in awe. These people, 30 years into their careers, still work 12 hours a day and solve such difficult problems. What keeps them going? Surely the nice salary helps, but after a point, you would throw your hands up in the air and surrender to the stress. Surely!

It is at this point that my "passion" starts wavering. Because, what I always assumed was, passion takes you above and beyond the call of pragmatism and logic to do what you love. I am not supposed to think about physical bodily functions under the influence of my passion. Until, I can say with any authority that I have done of any significance. And even then, what is significant? And even if my achievement is truly significant, to what end benefit is it directed? Something more than the useless statistics thrown out by the commentators.

Silver lining is, I know where to look for a true personification of passion - Ameya Kirtane. A PhD candidate in Pharmaceutics, a workaholic, toiling to find a piece of the jigsaw that will help cure cancer. He has not flagged, last time I checked. Constant push. True motivation. A truly righteous cause. Only passion helps drive this. Keep going dude. I will try to keep up.







Sunday, March 10, 2013

Being a man..... and a good human.....

This blog comes in the wake of a torrent of horrible news that tell a harrowing tale of misplaced masculinity and subsequently perpetrated atrocities. I am sure this behavior is not just native to India, but is visible around the world. As a male, I have always hated such behavior and been against such attitude. I have been battling with the question of individual morality and that of being a human, in general, of late. Part of the answer to that question, was presented to me by a heavy metal musician.

Randy Blythe, lead singer of modern metal pioneers Lamb of God, was detained in the Czech Republic following the death of fan at one of their concerts. And after being detained for a month, for something that happened 2 years earlier, this is what he chose.


Greetings. This is D. Randall Blythe, checking in from my beloved hometown of Richmond, VA, United States of America. I was recently released on bail from Pankrác Prison in Prague, Czech Republic, after over a month of incarceration. Now that I am out for the moment, I would like to say a few things.

1. While in prison, I had minimal knowledge of how my case was viewed anywhere but the Czech Republic. I was told by my attorney that I had a lot support from peers in the music industry, my hometown, fans, and of course my family. I cannot express how emotional it made me upon my release to read about even a fraction of the voices that were raised on my behalf. From legends in my music community, to fans across the world, and even people who were previously unaware of my existence but sympathized with my plight- I am truly humbled. I cannot thank you enough for your thoughts and prayers. I would especially like to thank the people of Richmond, VA, for standing by me. In the 48 hours I have been home, many people I have never met before have stopped me on the street, waved and smiled as I passed by, or said hello in a restaurant. All have said "We are glad you are home, Randy". You all make me proud and grateful that I call Richmond home.

2. I would like state that I suffered no abuse, from either authorities or inmates, during my incarceration in Pankrác. I received no special treatment, and was in general population with everyone else- make no mistake, it was prison, not some celebrity rehab tv show. But I was treated fairly by the guards and kindly by my fellow inmates. People are dying of starvation all over the world. Men and women are losing their lives daily in the Middle East and other war torn regions. I had food, clothes, shelter, and no one was trying to kill me. I cannot complain over a short stay in prison while many people elsewhere fight to survive on a daily basis.

3. If it is deemed necessary for me to do so, I WILL return to Prague to stand trial. While I maintain my innocence 100%, and will do so steadfastly, I will NOT hide in the United States, safe from extradition and possible prosecution. As I write this, the family of a fan of my band suffers through the indescribably tragic loss of their child. They have to deal with constantly varying media reports about the circumstances surrounding his death. I am charged with maliciously causing severe bodily harm to this young man, resulting in his death. While I consider the charge leveled against me ludicrous and without qualification, my opinion makes no difference in this matter. The charge exists, and for the family of this young man, questions remain. The worst possible pain remains. It is fairly common knowledge amongst fans of my band that I once lost a child as well. I, unfortunately, am intimately familiar with what their pain is like. Therefore, I know all too well that in their time of grief, this family needs and deserves some real answers, not a media explosion followed by the accused killer of their son hiding like a coward thousands of miles away while they suffer. I am a man. I was raised to face my problems head on, not run from them like a petulant child. I hope that justice is done, and the family of Daniel N. will receive the closure they undoubtably need to facilitate healing. I feel VERY STRONGLY that as an adult, it would be both irresponsible and immoral for me not to return to Prague if I am summoned. This is not about bail money. This is about a young man who lost his life. I will act with honor, and I will fight to clear my good name in this matter. Thank you for reading this, and I wish you all peace.

(Courtesy - Rolling Stone. )

I got to see Lamb of God, finally, in January 2013 and loved the show. He had extra bellicosity and vigor in his performance, like he needed any more. But true to his word, he returned to the Czech Republic to stand trial. Before the day of his verdict, this is what he had to say.



“It’s a beautiful morning in Prague, & time for me to go to what is (hopefully) my final day in court here- supposedly judgement will be passed today & I will move on with my life in one direction or the other. Which direction that is, I do not know. I could walk free, or conversely go to prison for up to ten years. Such is my life right now, & I must stay in this moment until its resolution. Whatever happens to me, do not feel sorry for me, for I am at peace & refuse to feel sorry for myself. Life happens. Deal with it.
“Some people cannot understand why I have returned, saying I should not come back here. KNOW THIS, & mark my words well- it would be absolutely intolerable for me to hide from this situation. I am an innocent man, but a family suffers the loss of a son, a fan of my band. That is what this whole thing is truly about, not prison, not money, not politics, not ME- it is about a young man who lost his life at just 19 years of age. He will never come back, & it breaks my heart. I would not be able to sleep at night knowing that I did not behave honorably & try to give his family some answers. That would be disgraceful, and I do not wish to dishonor myself or my family by acting in such a cowardly manner. I was raised to face my problems head on. For me, this is BEING A MAN. I categorically refuse to live in a constant state of guilt & fear. I would rather die.
“My morality & convictions are not dependent upon unforeseeable circumstance, nor malleable when difficulty arises. So I walk this morning to court with my head held high, no matter what others opinions of me may be. I have to face myself in the mirror, & tomorrow morning, where ever I may wake up, I will be able to do that without regret. This is THE ONLY path to true freedom for me- peace within myself. This is the manner in which I choose to try my best to live my life, & I hope you all do the same- do your best to do what is right, no matter how difficult it may be. I promise you, this will bring you peace. I thank you all for your support, I wish you all a good day, & to quote one of my favorite movies: STRENGTH AND HONOR.”
After all was said and done, Randy was acquitted and this is what he had to say about it. 
I am leaving Prague now – I hope not to return for a long while. This has nothing to do with this city, the people who live here, or the Czech Republic itself at all. This is a wonderful place, and many people have been kind to me. Not a single soul here has been rude or mean to me at all, nor done me any harm – in fact it is quite the opposite. I have grown to love this city, for it is a marvelous, magical town. I encourage everyone to come visit here, to see this lovely country. But for me it is a place of great sadness.

While I am relieved that my innocence was proven and apparently I shall not be going to prison, I am in no way shape or form a happy man right now. The small inconveniences I have been through since my arrest are not noteworthy. People go through much worse daily and still keep a smile on their faces, but currently my smiles are far and few between. A young man is still dead, and his family still suffers. Please remember that fact. This family did no wrong, and have shown me great kindness - with silence, with actions, and finally with words - they spoke on my behalf to the court, and we had a private talk afterwards. All I will say about that is that they were very kind to me and displayed the utmost strength and class, and wished me a good life. They just want to get on with their lives the best they can. I wish them only the best, and will keep them in my thoughts and prayers. Please do the same - think good thoughts of them and healing thoughts for them. Trust me, they are good people, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. They did NOTHING wrong.




This picture is from Kutna Hora, at the Sedlec Ossuary. I was there yesterday - like Prague, it is an amazing place. About this city, Kafka wrote: "Prague doesn't let go... This old crone has claws. One has to yield, or else." I have found this to be true. I am yielding, I am leaving a part of myself here, I think. Some bit of me will always roam these streets at night, and that is only fitting. Now I will go home and try to see what good I can make come out the destruction that occurred here - it is the only correct thing to do. Rest in peace, Daniel Nosek.


He did not hide. He was not ashamed. He did not let his prison stay change his impression of what had happened. He stood up for what is right and did the right thing every time. And he holds his head high. He showed every dickheaded moron in the world, what it is to be a man, if they ever needed another example. For me, I had found a true hero of my own. Take a bow, you amazing man.



Sunday, February 24, 2013

Why I am an Electrical Engineer..... I think....

“I flicked a switch and the bulb started glowing.”

I think that, in one sentence summarizes why I am so fascinated and enamored by Electrical Engineering. On a number of levels, multiple levels of complexities, that is all I have wanted to do. One bulb, a million LED’s or 2 Giga Pixels. The idea is still the same.

I realized early on that I was going to be an engineer. Because my dad had an enormous influence on me. He is an amazing electrical engineer, a master of analogue electronics. But, as I was growing up, the word digital was gradually growing taller. Things were rapidly switching over, computers were becoming common place and the Internet meant nothing was isolated any more as far as data is concerned.

So engineer it was, but aeronautics was the first passion, not electrical. To this day, I wish I were an aeronautical engineer and work on planes, maybe even design my own. But as I soon discovered, I had little to no aptitude for Engineering Drawing and Newtonian Dynamics/Mechanics - vital, if you want to build planes. So, I settled on the second best, electrical and electronics. The rest is almost history.

Broadly speaking, there are the following fields in Electrical Engineering :

1. Power Engineering - As the name suggests, anything to do with high amperes and volts. The electricity grid, huge electric motors and the like fall under this. As does all the electronics that handles that amount of current and voltage.

2. Analogue Systems - Everything to do with analogue signals. Amplifiers, multipliers, RF circuits and the like. As long as basic signals are analogue, which they will always be, this field will exist. The amount of analogue systems over the years has shrunk and become highly diversified, but this field will never go away.

3. Embedded Systems - As the name suggests, any subsystem which can control a larger system in a stand alone mode. The most common interpretation of this is a small portable micro-operating system running on a low power consuming microcontroller. These have been rapidly increasing in complexity since the days of the 4004 micro-controller and todays microcontrollers are powerful enough to manage the systems on board a luxury car.

4. Digital Signal Processing (D.S.P.) - I will mention this field separately, because, although it is a part of digital electronics, it has carved out its own ground. A highly specialised field, the most common application of this is found in the UPS Inverters that you use. Because digital circuits can be smaller than their analogue counterparts, the complexity of processing can be increased. Lo and behold, almost all signals are brought over to the digital side and fooled around with and then converted back to analogue to interact with other analogue systems.

5. Very Large Scale Integration (V.L.S.I.) - Although, pedantically speaking, the acronym is obsolete, it still spells out the essence of the field. It has to do with designing a digital system with obscene numbers of transistors and eventually using it to do a myriad of complicated tasks.Computer microprocessors rapidly come to mind. Intel and A.M.D. immediately jump out in front.

6. Robotics and Automation - Think “Transformers”. Then think each part of Optimus Prime doing a specific task. The arm by itself carrying a hot block of metal. Or a huge metal press stamping out car doors at an automotive facility.

7. Sensors, MEMS and Nano-engineering - This is what I fell in love with, to be very honest and higly specific. For the Final Year Project, us folks were using something called accelerometers to accomplish some rather unusual tasks. A small mechanical device, constructed at the micron (micro-meter) level that changes electrical characteristics of a circuit to produce a signal change. I was hooked then and have been ever since. But sensors in general, whether it be an Optocoupler or Peltier Element - have always been very interesting for me. Very fascinating. Micro-Electro-Mechanical-Systems (MEMS) have been gaining a foothold rapidly of late and will grow in the foreseeable future. And Nano system engineering or Nanotech as it is popularly known is a great field of research where scientists will tweak and create materials at a nano level, study their properties and come up with amazing stuff.

Again, these are just broad categories of Electrical Engineering. You also have Control Systems Engineering, Instrumentation and measurements etc. Some fields are more glamorous than the other. But every bit as essential too. I work on an intersection of a lot of fields - electrical engineering, material science and a bit of quantum physics - to do what I do. Creating those microprocessors from bare and raw materials and making sure they work and are better than what came before.

And that is what todays Electrical Engineering has morphed into. A lot of the same basics, but now interacting with a number of other disciplines to get stuff done. So DSP will have specialised processors running a Java or a Matlab code to do Speech/Image recognition. Sensor technology will interact with Chemistry and Material Science to find better sensors. Or Curiosity - that Mars rover  - where a lot of the above mentioned stuff comes together to tell us more about the red planet. Electrical Engineering - a highly diverse field that will always reward broad minded ideas.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

The Mistress.

O Dearly Beloved,
My love for you is boundless so.
Any more, I could not have asked for.
When in doubt, your words are soothing,
A sweet cool hand on a fevered brow.
In you I can always seek
Refuge from storms, seemingly inclement.
And a view of my true self
Will emanate from you.
With you, all is whole,
And all the meagerness around,
Turns to satisfied wealth.
With this and a heavy heart
I have a confession to make.
For the love we have shared
and also for fidelity's sake.
The sea of distance
How far you have been.
In a foreign land
Nary a glimpse of you, have I seen.
Lorn, I felt and no solace.
The light seemed to converge on me.
I faltered in times tough.
Reached out for a shoulder, in my time of need.
And she answered my call,
A true friend indeed.
For hours on end, her presence
Would enrich the ether.
Lilting, her voice
And healing her touch.
Long hours, she spent
Cajoling my soul.
In her, I found, a glimmer of hope
And held onto her hand,
To never to let it go.
In her, I let go of your,
Memories ethereal.
Felt no void,
In her company.
Under the spell 
The Mistress' charm
I live in joyful comatose 
I know you, my love
Remember you well.
But my love is now divided
Between The Lady far away
And The Mistress, in whose arms I lay. 








Upheaval.

Crushed and defeated.
Defaced, we lie.
Cadaverous crust, under the onerous rock. 
Blotting out the sun
Cursed souls die in ignorant darkness.
We keep dying, 
The ritual of sacrifice, unabated
Till the weight and stench 
of carrion flesh, violently rapes,
And destroys the pretentious clean air of oppression.
Violent ignition, eventual consequence. 
Shards of rock, fly in directions
Equally far flung
Tell the tale of dissent
Revolution born out of oppression. 
Upheaval, Purveyor of change,
Last human resort to survival. 
Perpetually running after the mirage
Ideal and impossible
The Utopia of true peaceful civilization. 


Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A Moment to Cherish......

Can't be more excited about the Opeth - Katatonia - Steven Wilson Band gig in April. I know it is some ways away, but fuck, there is going to be awesome music that night. No doubt about that. Sweden's finest and England's best coming to take over this stupid place in the middle of nowhere.

The music part is settled. I will say what this post is really about. That awesome time, when the band comes out and they start off with a killer track. Usually, pumping your fists, throwing the horns and moshing, is what the typical response is made of. It still is, mind you, but that is not all you see. A growing number of people, will, quick as a flash, whip out a glowing screen and start recording everything. They just do not want to let anything go by. Every moment is immortal, as it is precious. Yes. It is. But put your fucking camera/phone down, will you, you silly knob? In a small place, why in the name of the Devil, do I have to watch the gig through your fucking screen? And why don't you, you knackered cunt, put that phone away, next to your testicles and watch the bleeding show, will  ya?

If the show is about enjoying the music in the moment, then enjoy it. Don't be saving it in a very shitty quality and watch it later, to say how magical it was. You don't know how magical it was, you dickhead. You missed it. Missed it for good. And ruined my evening, all the same. Live with that, scumbag. 

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Tales of a Legend....

As I have already declared someplace else on this blog, my favorite aircraft of all time is the Lockheed Martin SR-71 Blackbird. This plane and its pilots have a huge bagful of amazing tales to tell, but this following one, is the one that always warms up the cockles of my heart. In equal parts, about the capabilities of the plane, the confidence that the pilots had in the aircraft and MASSIVE FUCKING SHOWING OFF!

Taken from this website : http://gizmodo.com/5511236/the-thrill-of-flying-the-sr+71-blackbird


"In 1962, the first Blackbird successfully flew, and in 1966, the same year I graduated from high school, the Air Force began flying operational SR-71 missions. I came to the program in 1983 with a sterling record and a recommendation from my commander, completing the weeklong interview and meeting Walter, my partner for the next four years He would ride four feet behind me, working all the cameras, radios, and electronic jamming equipment. I joked that if we were ever captured, he was the spy and I was just the driver. He told me to keep the pointy end forward.

We trained for a year, flying out of Beale AFB in California , Kadena Airbase in Okinawa, and RAF Mildenhall in England . On a typical training mission, we would take off near Sacramento, refuel over Nevada, accelerate into Montana, obtain high Mach over Colorado, turn right over New Mexico, speed across the Los Angeles Basin, run up the West Coast, turn right at Seattle, then return to Beale. Total flight time: two hours and 40 minutes.

One day, high above Arizona , we were monitoring the radio traffic of all the mortal airplanes below us. First, a Cessna pilot asked the air traffic controllers to check his ground speed. 'Ninety knots,' ATC replied. A twin Bonanza soon made the same request. 'One-twenty on the ground,' was the reply. To our surprise, a navy F-18 came over the radio with a ground speed check. I knew exactly what he was doing. Of course, he had a ground speed indicator in his cockpit, but he wanted to let all the bug-smashers in the valley know what real speed was 'Dusty 52, we show you at 620 on the ground,' ATC responded. The situation was too ripe. I heard the click of Walter's mike button in the rear seat. In his most innocent voice, Walter startled the controller by asking for a ground speed check from 81,000 feet, clearly above controlled airspace. In a cool, professional voice, the controller replied, ' Aspen 20, I show you at 1,982 knots on the ground.' We did not hear another transmission on that frequency all the way to the coast."

Long live the legend of the Blackbird!




Monday, January 14, 2013

Fuckin' Ace.....

Why I love swearing.

1. Helps me get my anger out.
2. Provides my perspective of where I stand with things.
3. My ongoing fascination with the word "fuck".
4. The British accent. Swearing is made awesome by the Brits.
5. Simple humor
6. As a friend filtering mechanism.
7. Perpetual laziness towards an expansion of vocabulary.
8. A "will-never-fail" cultural ice-breaker.
9. A precursor to giving somebody a Welsh kiss.
10. To keep annoying people away.
11. Endless scope for improvement.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Remembering Stephen Fry.

Just as the passing of Christopher Hitchens was a great loss to the collective community that revels in his discourses about reason and objectivity and his polemic, the other Briton I think I have come to admire a lot is Stephen Fry. An eloquent speaker, staunch atheist, lovely bloke and so enormously literate and knowledgeable. Just listening to him speak about any ol' topic is a genuine pleasure.